My Feelings Won’t Boss Me Around

15 PRACTICAL TOOLS FOR EMOTIONAL CONTROL & BOUNDARIES

Detailed, step-by-step guidance for parents, children, and young adults

1. Teach kids that feelings are not commands
Explain that emotions send messages, but they don’t decide actions.

2. Help kids name emotions early
Labeling feelings reduces emotional intensity.

3. Separate feeling from behavior
Say: “You feel angry, and you still choose what to do.”

4. Teach the pause before reacting
Practice stopping for one slow breath before responding.

5. Use body awareness to spot rising emotions
Notice clenched fists, fast heartbeat, or tight jaw.

6. Normalize strong emotionsLet kids know big feelings are part of being human.

7. Teach calming strategies before problem-solving
Regulation comes first, solutions come second.

8. Encourage distance from the trigger when needed
Stepping away helps emotions settle.

9. Avoid lecturing during emotional moments
Teaching works best after calm returns.

10. Model emotional boundaries yourself
Say out loud when you pause before reacting.

11. Praise regulation effort
Recognize when kids stop, breathe, or choose calm.

12. Teach DBT-style coping skills
Breathing, grounding, sensory tools, and self-talk.

13. Reflect after emotions pass
Ask: “What helped you stay in control?”

14. Practice skills during calm times
Role-play emotional situations before they happen.

15. Reinforce that control builds confidence
Remind kids that choosing calm builds strength.

THERAPEUTIC STRATEGY & PSYCHOLOGICAL APPROACH

Emotion Regulation Training based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

This approach supports:

• Emotional boundaries
• Impulse control
• Self-regulation
• Confidence and resilience